


Run

by Talinor



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Depression, Established Relationship, M/M, Self-Hatred, all that fun stuff, character introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 16:11:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13321803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talinor/pseuds/Talinor
Summary: He quickly learned that broken hearts are not so easy to fix. He always seemed to just... make things worse. No matter how hard he tried to be good.Eventually he stopped trying. He never truly stopped caring.That was likely part of the problem.





	Run

**Author's Note:**

> this is the result of a shitty mood and experimenting with writing styles  
> there's also a really lowkey reference to self-harm and implied abuse  
> this is not a happy fic and I won't advertise it as such   
> you have been warned

All his life, Keith had found many opportunities to run. It was an easy solution to many of his problems.

Problems at home? Run out into the desert for a few hours. Get farther and farther away each time as things got worse. He'd come home to more broken things each time- broken vases, broken picture frames. He taped them back together easily as a peace offering.

He quickly learned that broken hearts are not so easy to fix. He always seemed to just... make things worse. No matter how hard he tried to be good.

Eventually he stopped trying. He never truly stopped caring.

That was likely part of the problem. His whole problem in general.

Problems at school? Run away from it. Avoid everyone, even the ocean-eyed boy who kept trying to talk to him. _Especially_ the ocean-eyed boy who kept trying to talk to him. He was too kind, too charismatic, too foolish for Keith not to mirror.

Someone like that didn't need a mess like him, he'd say. It's better this way, he'd say. He'd probably just try to 'fix' you, he'd say.

Yet words were inconsequential. A year after not seeing the boy, Keith would still occasionally wake up from dreams of crisp blue waters and a loud and unabashed siren's song of a laugh he used to overhear. His own words didn't matter to his own dreams.

Funnily enough, running was what got him to see that same boy again. Clear flowing waters churned as they washed over Keith, quickly drawing him back into what he'd been trying to avoid. He desperately looked for a way out of the mess he knew would eventually start. It loomed over the back of his mind like an oncoming hurricane.

For it's plentiful wonders and infinite vastness, there weren't a lot of places to run to in space. After one half-hearted effort, he gave up on the idea.

His biggest mistake, looking back on it now.

For in his long-winded attempts to run from it, Keith eventually found himself running headfirst into what he was so desperately trying to avoid- love. It wasn't much at first- just an outburst of passion after a particularly bad battle. A breath of fresh air in the crushing depths, a siren's lips upon his own.

He was easily lured in. He didn't think about drowning. He didn't care about it. In the quiet moments of the siren's grotto, he forgot. He forgot about the monumental pressure of a Universe's worth of oceans heaped onto his shoulders. He forgot about the pain. The disappointment. The fear.

It was his new way to run without so much as moving a foot. All he needed to do was plunge back into the ocean, let the bubbles fly, and let the siren hold him under.

It took him a long while to realize what he was doing was wrong on so many levels. That he was just a junkie hooked on a new prescription and pretending it was more to him than that. 

Leaving the team, being unable to use that oceanic drug as much as he used to, opened his eyes to that. 

Lance didn't deserve that.

He didn't deserve a washed-out, screwed-up corpse just waiting to die.

He needed to break the chain. End it for good.

Then run from everything he knew, just one last time.

He watched with a spear in his heart as Lance splashed in the black waves of the abandoned alien beachside. Especially when Lance smiled, so big and bright it would make any sun in the Universe immensely jealous. He pretended every light touch didn't sting like a blade across his tender veins, smiled like he wasn't imagining dark red staining skin, staining the pebbles beneath him. Corrupting them as a testament to his entire life story.

He kissed Lance like he had no idea he was a tasteless poison, polluting the siren's pure waters. He could only keep his eyes shut and hope the damages weren't permanent.

Lance looked at him through half-lidded eyes filled to the brim with adoration as the sun slunk under it's starry blankets for the night. He put his impossibly soft hand over Keith's and he knew, deep in his heart, that this was it. The cliff's edge. The point of no return. The prelude to a blind leap of faith. If Keith was one with any sense of honor or courage, he'd steel himself and take it. Take that opportunity.

But running was commonly the coward's way. Keith simply stayed true to his own nature.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered it like a secret, bringing a hand up to the sun-kissed scales of his captivation. Like it wasn't obvious to anyone who had the privilege of laying eyes upon him. The killing blow was delivered by a simple movement, likely just natural instinct to Lance. The heat and weight of Lance's face leant against Keith's calloused and cold palms damned any hope in Keith's hear that this could all work out.

He took one last moment to admire what he had before he did what he usually did- ruin it all.

His soft smile fell. "...And I'm sorry for wasting your time." His hand followed suit. He moved to stand, prepare himself to run away into oblivion. He didn't look at Lance's face. "It was selfish of me. It won't happen again, I promise."

Of course, Lance didn't take things that easily. He yelled. He demanded answers. Once he knew Keith was serious about this, he cried. Keith could almost see the pieces of his broken pearl-heart on the beach. For a moment, he wanted to say something else. End it off on a somewhat positive note.

But deep in his own long-broken heart, Keith knew. He knew that wasn't an option.

For if he knew anything in this twisted Universe, it was that he always made things worse. So he went for the second-best (in his own opinion, at least) option.

Keith ran.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry if that hurt a bit. This was more of a vent piece than a shipfic  
> comments are always appreciated, though  
> my tumblr: squishy--squish


End file.
